Dear Younger Citra,If only the time machine does exists, I'd just use it and send this letter to you, but alas, what's done is done and the time machine reminds an imaginary thing until now. I believe that's it's better to tell you right from the start that your life will go on. There's no need to weep or regret things that you wish you could change. Just stand up straight. And smile!I know you are struggling with self confidence now. Teenage years is tough and it will not get easier when you are a young adult. You will face bigger problems, toxic people and again, confidence, but trust me you will outgrow them in no time. I also have to tell you that your environment matters. I know you have no choice now since your "playground" is kind of limited, but do your best to surround yourself with positive people. They will help you at least indirectly, to face the new day with a better perspective.Yes, you are also not confident with your looks, but these years taught me that beauty is only skin deep. I know you believe only ugly girls say that, but you will learn that it is so wrong to judge a person by their looks only. You will meet many wonderful people when you are older and will only care about their attitude. You are now prone with insecurities, well at your age, almost every girls are! And this is the thing that you will outgrow too.Stop worrying about maths and those numbers. It's not your fault, some people just aren't good with them and it's perfectly alright. Ignore your know-it-all high school friends who look down on you because you're not a math girl, they know absolutely nothing. You will do better in college ( I mean it!) and you know what, in my era, we have tons of tutorials on the internet - Youtube is my favorite, but it doesn't exist yet - that do better than your high school teachers! See, it's not completely your fault. Some people just can't teach.
You will face the hardest time of your life in your 20s. It will be rough and even as an adult now I wouldn't say it's easy. It's a growing pain to be more mature and you will confuse of what to do. Relax, take a deep breath, we all start somewhere. It's fine to be confused as you have no experience of handling things you are facing, but hey, you can do it. I am here, remember?
Stop worrying about unimportant things. You'll be fine!
Your self's older version.
Do you have anything to say to your younger self? What do you wish you had known when you where younger?