Let me tell you a true story.
It happened exactly 20 years ago when I was in the 4th grade. I was 10 at that time and a bookworm already. There was a new library at my school and it was like a wonderland for me when I saw the shelves were being filled with tons of new colorful and whimsical books. The library got my attention and I knew that day that I had to borrow one of them.
I asked around, to my teachers and to my friends on how to borrow the books. My friends shrugged, my teacher shook her head, no one gave me clear answers. Since the library is quite new, there was no official librarian yet (and never was, at least that condition lasted until I finished my elementary school) so I couldn't really blame my friends nor class teacher.
Months went by and the library was left open, just like that, but no one dared to enter. I couldn't help myself, and I wonder how come those books were left untouched. In my 10-year-old mine, it was something really wrong. Books are meant to be read, and a library meant we are allowed to read and borrow it.
So I took the chances. I told my friends "what if we took some books with us and just tell our teacher later". They agreed and each of us "borrowed" one book. I took it into my bag and thought everything is going to be all right.
I was wrong. Completely wrong.
The next day I found out that my bag was being searched by the school headmaster. She found the book and took it back. I wasn't in the class at that time, my class teacher gave me leave to go because I left my homework at home. As soon as I stepped in the class, one of my friends told me "Citra, you are accused of theft." I was so confused and startled. "Theft? What did I took?", I asked and she replied "The book from the library yesterday."
I was so scared and lost my appetite later on. I was in a bad mood, extremely sensitive and I cried so very easily. I didn't tell my parents, I was too ashamed and because deep down I know that I am not a thief. My father seemed to notice my strange behavior and he asked me what was going on. I couldn't take it anymore, started to cry and said "I am accused of being a thief". He was surprised after I told him everything and said "I am going to your school tomorrow."
And so he came.
He talked to headmaster and explained "Citra doesn't need to steal a book, she has tons of them at home. I make sure she always has something to read. She just wanted to borrow it." I sat there speechless and terrified. I thought I was the naughtiest kid in the school and this was the end, they were going to expel me.
After my father left, the headmaster talked to me. I don't remember the details, mind you, it was decades ago. The point is, she didn't like the fact that I told my father about it. I wasn't the only one who took the books, my friends did too, but none of them told their parents. I still remember all the teachers there blaming me, and I sat helplessly. I lost my confident all at once, going to school felt like hell.
After 20 years it still bugs me. I still have this doubt when going to the library. The drama really traumatized me that every time I step into a library, the unfortunate occasion replays in my mind. Was I a naughty kid? I don't know. One thing I know that I just wanted to read, but my school wasn't supportive enough for it. Of course I would defend a curious student, if I were the teacher. It wasn't like I played around in a chemistry lab, messing with dangerous substances or anything. It was just a book, a harmless children's book. Reading is a healthy hobby, why criminalize a child for it?
I actually feel sorry for my self because of this. The fact that none of the teachers defended me teaches me one thing about a career world. You have to have a principle and live by it. You have to stand for what you believe is right, even in front of your boss. You have to have integrity and respect yourself, because if not, who else will? Would you let a child to be called a thief because she wanted to borrow a book from the library? Well, I absolutely wouldn't.
Yes, I did borrow the book without permission, but then again, isn't that what libraries are for? I did ask the teachers, but they didn't care enough to give me proper answer. Isn't there a more friendly approach rather than to put the child on terrifying "trial". I have to admit that this experience actually left a scar on my childhood because I felt betrayed. I volunteered on my break time to help the school organized the library cards and arranging books, just to be called a thief a few days later.
My message to those of you who have children or work as a teacher, please don't do this kind of approach. Never label a child something bad, it will hurt them. Well, as it happened long time ago, I am sure that the teachers and parents nowadays are more open-minded and wiser and that similar thing shouldn't happen.
Oh, I also feel the novel "The Book Thief" to be like a hard slap on my face too!
If you make it this far, my dearest readers, thank you! I cannot believe how much I feel better after writing this. I didn't really talk about this matter with my parents, and I never told my friends about it. I was too ashamed. People say time heals everything, so here it is and once again, thank you for helping me release my burden!
Yes, I did borrow the book without permission, but then again, isn't that what libraries are for? I did ask the teachers, but they didn't care enough to give me proper answer. Isn't there a more friendly approach rather than to put the child on terrifying "trial". I have to admit that this experience actually left a scar on my childhood because I felt betrayed. I volunteered on my break time to help the school organized the library cards and arranging books, just to be called a thief a few days later.
My message to those of you who have children or work as a teacher, please don't do this kind of approach. Never label a child something bad, it will hurt them. Well, as it happened long time ago, I am sure that the teachers and parents nowadays are more open-minded and wiser and that similar thing shouldn't happen.
Oh, I also feel the novel "The Book Thief" to be like a hard slap on my face too!
If you make it this far, my dearest readers, thank you! I cannot believe how much I feel better after writing this. I didn't really talk about this matter with my parents, and I never told my friends about it. I was too ashamed. People say time heals everything, so here it is and once again, thank you for helping me release my burden!
